Frustrated Creator

frustrated god

… that frustration that comes just after you have completed a job …

You know, you set out to be productive a tackle a bunch of lose ends around the house say. Hours of tedious work, many tweaks, changes and adjustments. Eventually you proudly look at your accomplishments with satisfaction. Then your gaze shifts to the item right next to it. The one that has up to about a minute ago been absolutely fine but is now boldly staring back at you in total tatters through no fault of your own.

A sense of bewilderment promptly plummets in to a bottomless pit of hopelessness opening up inside of you. The frustration of constantly scrabbling with a never ending job list slaps you around the face. You feel like screaming, growling and crying all at the same time. The questioning of Who? Why? When? is totally pointless, ’cause you know that in the end it will be you making it right again.

And so instead of finding the culprit and venting these feelings in their direction you choose to just take a deep breath and walk away. (Sure it’s not like it’s gonna mend itself in the mean time.)

I do wonder though. Could this be how God felt on the 8th day? You know after he made all the stuff and then rested on the 7th day. I take it he came back the day after that, looked around and saw the state of the place after we were left alone for the day and said something like: “Ah, kids. Always up to something. What to you do. Let me fix this for you.” Then while he grapples with some gardening, soaks up a few oil spills and gives the polar bears a bath there is pure mayhem taking place behind his back.

There, that’s sorted now” he straightens his back and smiles at his creation for a moment. Just for a moment that is. Because as he slowly turns around a whole new array of ready made hazards and disasters waiting to happen is revealed.

Sure he can be omnipresent, but is omni-patience a part of his job description too?

And could this be the reason we are where we are at the moment and why no day eight, nine or ten of the creation ever took place?

Or did it? We were just quietly uninvited from the party…

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2oz of Apple drops and Eating paper

apple drops

Have you ever wondered what that feeling is that comes like a flash while you’re taking a walk down memory lane?

The same ole park and the same narrow street, the old pavement under my feet. Yet the way the sound carries and sunlight falls on the ground feels just that little bit different. The fresh cut grass has a unique sweetness to it today and the birds are singing an all too familiar song.

Are you comin’ to the shops? I’ve only 35p today. I wanna get apple drops, but I’ll get you a Mr.Freeze if I’ve something left over.”

I feel a wave rise through my body that opens up like an eruption inside my chest. Walking down the same rocky path I am nine all over again. Dandelions and butter cups are calling out to me from beside the old stone wall.

We’re gonna make a daisy chain later. Like a super long one. Barry’s neighbour never mows the lawn in their back yard and they’ve got these really tall daisies there. If we ring the door bell and distract the old fella we can climb in over the back wall and get some. We’re going to send a picture in to the Guinnes Book of Records and win something.”

The sun dazzles my eyes and I catch myself smiling. I can’t remember making a daisy chain since. I come to a fork in the path. That mossy rock by the pine trees seemed bigger last time I sat on it. I pause to pick a dandelion clock and blow its seeds far and wide.

Did you make a wish?”

My eyes follow the floating little parachutes and I daze in to the distance. There’s that feeling again. This time it rises all the way up to my throath and my whole chest quivers. My smile changes its shape and a tear rolls down my cheek.

A part of me is here now and part of me is here then. Inside me both parts meet and for a moment I feel whole, connected and one with all. And then the moment passes and another tear joins the first one as I drop back in to my physical body and a world of limitations.

Our perception of linear time allows us to experience separation and our physical existence enables us to explore it. Yet I believe it is these moments of connection that resemble death in it’s true form. Death being the gateway to endless spirit connection.

So as I grieve these joyful memories I also relish in their existence at the same time. It is a bitter sweet time travel experience encouraging me to never let an opportunity of creating these key connection points slip by.

I vow to keep creating these imprints within my life like scattered time vortexes and visit them at will.

Especially on sunny days.

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Own Your Super Power

I’ve challenged myself recently to merely observe and listen as my friend shared some observations of what I do and expressed her appreciation of them mentioning also that they are not just ordinary everyday things one does. I must say I was taken aback and considerably out of my comfort zone listening to what I’d consider natural, average and “all in a days work” kinda stuff being lifted up and valued as not just out of the ordinary but rather a “Super Power”.

In earlier years I’ve caught myself dismissing thanks or praise by a simple: “oh it’s nothing” and “sure it’s only xyz” or “anyone would do the same”. I have since stopped doing that as I have witnessed how this kind of dismissal feels from the other side. To acknowledge someone for what they did and thank them is a gift. For someone to reject that appreciation means rejecting a gift. One could call that rude, full and disrespectful.

So I stopped. I learned to accept peoples gratitude and acknowledgement with grace. It has taken me a while to learn this new skill, but has been rewarded by a new feeling of connection, self worth and value.

This time the process was a step up from what I’ve allready done. This wasn’t just a simple thank you for what I had done for someone. This was an acknowlegement of something I do on an everyday basis without thinking anything of it and not realising it is preceived by another sole as a noticeble achievement and an asset.

So what you consider as ordinary another can see as being extraordinary. This is what I call being faced with your own Super Power.

superpowers

So OK, maybe you can’t exactly fly, freeze things by pointing your finger at them or lift busses off a crumbling road. But what if what you do is keep a calm and decisive in a franctic situation that inspires another person. What if you have the ability to manage large groups, stop whatever you’re doing and lend a listening ear to someone who needs it or bake a delicious apple pie?

Yes, all of us ar not gifted by the same tallents, but to most of us certain actions come more easy than others. We get enjoyment from a variety of things. And that seams to be another popular myth – if it’s meant ot be good, meaningfull and/or valuable it needs to be hard work. It might not always be plain sailing by all means, but I do think it’s time to drop the whole “no pain, no gain” attitude. Your super powers can be enjoyable as well as challenging 😉 They are gifts and it is your responsibility to acknowlege them, claim them as your own and brring them forth to inspire the world.

So I thanked my friend for taking the time and caring enough to acknowledge and appreciate these gifts of mine. I thanked her of the insight and new found value she created with her kind acknowledgement and for challenging me to claim and own my very own Super Power.

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You’re PERFECT !


you're perfect

No seriously, stop! And have a cup of tea perhaps.

Whatever it is you have come up with to complain about is just an excuse to not love yourself. For every one reason you find to give out about there are at least three to be thankful for.

Tough love you say? Maybe. Perhaps I got tired of all the different ways we are being sold to under the illusion of “a better future”, “a happier you”, “a nicer home”, “a healthier body” and the list goes on. This is it people – wake up! Quit focusing on attaining the next bigger, brighter, fluffier, shinier, more colourful, less wide, more tall, … whatever it is and make a choice. One choice : TO LOVE. Cause right now is all you have and all you will ever need. While you wait for that vision you hold to come about your time spent with it is getting shorter. Love yourself NOW. It’s the journey, not the destination we are here for, so let’s make the most of it. Now is the best time – it’s not too late or too early. It’s just what it is >now<.

Do yourself (and all of us having to listen to your complaints) a favour: Take a deep breath, close your eyes, give yourself a hug and say to yourself ‘I love you’. Make sure you repeat it again, ’cause you might have not heard yourself the first time. Say is in a different voice, louder, quieter, more gentle. And then? Make yourself a cuppa. You deserve it.

You’ve just started a journey of loving yourself. That is all you’ll ever need. Once you love yourself you will automatically see things differently. You will want the best for you. You will want to live your dream and true purpose and you will do it no later than right now. If you come from this place of love all your decisions will be easier. And when in doubt – rinse and repeat.

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What My Children Taught Me

kids messing

 

 

 

  • You can  get up early  in the morning without any trouble if there is something you’re looking FORWARD to.
  • CHALLENGES are not problems. A challenge is a box of puzzle pieces waiting to be assembled.
  • A hug, kiss and a cuddle are a cure for pretty much ANYTHING.
  • Questions about how something WAS are irrelevant – we live now.
  • There are many points of view, but your one IS always the right one. (until it changes)
  • There is ALWAYS space for desert.
  • No matter how pretty or cool your clothes are if they are not comfy you won’t FEEL good.
  • It is natural to randomly burst in to song and/or dance in absolutely ANY situation. It is our birth right and privilege.kids dancing
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